Day 24: Comfort Food

Yesterday's devotional was about how God's Word is a help to us by comforting us as we go through difficulties and hardships, also known as "life." This is a fact that I haven't been exploiting recently. I know that the Bible is there to help me through life, but lately I feel like it's convicting me instead. I know that my spirit is not in the right place. I live for myself, and though I try to do the right thing and do in many instances, there are just as many where I succumb to my own will and do things my way. This is wrong.

God's Word is something to be treasured, not avoided. If I find something in it that points out a fault in my life, I shouldn't be discouraged and put off reading my Bible next time. I should take heart, pray for strength, and work to remove the flaw. That's why it's there!

With this in mind, yesterday's Scripture was Isaiah 1-3. The part I got out of it was how God talked to Israel about how obedience was worth much more to him than any offerings they could give. I feel like this is something I need to work on. I read my Bible and pray often, but I do not obey God in everything that He charges me with, primarily in how to use my time. I've fallen into the habit of simply wasting it most of the time. I have to pull myself out of this rut, but I can only do it with God's help.

Day 23: An Audience Of One

God sees everything. Plain and simple. That can be a good thing or a bad thing. That is up to us.

I easily forget that God sees all that I do. That's probably why my integrity isn't nearly as strong as it should be. I want to be trustworthy, and for the most part, I am, but it's usually only when I'll be held accountable by someone if I fail. That trend needs to stop. I need to be reliable even when no one is watching. That's what truly pleases God anyway.

I'll catch up with blogs tomorrow.

Day 22: The King's Colors

Big day for me, so this is gonna be quick...

God's love should always be visible through our own lives. Jesus said that people will know that we are His disciples if we show love for one another. So, it seems that Jesus had the perfect recursive plan when He gave us the two greatest commandments. The first is to love the Lord with all we have; it is the reason we exist. The second is to love others as ourselves; it shows our love for the Lord to others, and encourages them to show love to God, perpetuating the cycle. Brilliant!

The Scripture today finished up Song of Songs. I think I ought to read some commentary on that book, 'cause I don't really understand it. The language is beautiful, but I'm not certain how it pertains to our Christian walk (besides the observation that the book gives us an idea of how much God loves the church and how the church should pine for God).

Day 21: Foundation Of The Heart

Today's devotional struck a chord with me today, as it seems these devotions always do. It likened people to the great cathedrals of Europe: while magnificent to look at, they are weak at the core and must be supported from the outside. People certainly are great and capable of amazing achievements--just look at the Olympics--but without God to support us, we crumble into nothing. It is through personal prayer time and reading His word that we can strengthen our support from God. The stronger our relationship is with Him, the stronger our life can be.

Lately I've been struggling with my thorn again. I rarely give a second thought to this sin anymore, engaging in it because "I feel like it." The problem is that God never said we'd always "feel" like doing the right thing, but we should do it because it is beneficial to us and because He said so. I think that's what I'm missing the most: a fear of God. I don't mean a fear of fire and brimstone or lightning bolts thrown from the heavens or anything like that (although God certainly is capable). I mean respect, reverence, and awe for Him. I would never do some of the sins I commit if my parents were over my shoulder 24/7, so why should it be different with God? I guess there are no tangible consequences for stepping out of line with God...in the immediate sense, I mean. I will be judged for my actions one day, so I really need to develop this sense of respect NOW.

Anyway, the Scripture today was Song of Songs 1-3. The language that the lover and the beloved use for each other is extremely sweet and poetic; it's pretty obvious that they are crazy about each other. I suppose it's the kind of love that God feels for His church. I wish I knew love like this for someone. There's a girl that I do care for and have cared for more than anyone, but...well, it's kinda scary to fully devote your feelings to someone when you don't think they feel the same way. But anyway, I've never read the whole of Song of Songs, so this should be interesting.

Day 20: God's Restraint

The things that we go through in life are not always fun. In fact, God tells us that if we're living correctly, there will be trials and tribulations. But He does assure us that He will never give us more than we can handle...as long as we rely on Him.

Many times, I've felt that God was sending me through a particularly difficult time. I wondered why things were so difficult and if they would ever change. In those times, however, I found that obeying God and seeking His will gave me an inner peace. It did not dissipate the circumstances around me, but it enabled me to deal with them. Now, looking back, I can see that those trials made me a better person overall. The point is that God will send obstacles our way, but He will always provide a way through them and He will always be there to comfort and aid us as we overcome them.

Psalms 99-101 were today's Scripture. Psalm 99 emphasizes God's kingship, and Psalm 100 is a brief passage which gives thanks to God. It is Psalm 101 which grabbed me most. It talks about keeping one's eyes on the things of God and removing all evil from his house. I wonder how good I am at doing this. It's easy to become callous to secular things without thinking about how they are affecting our walk with God. It's hard, but I think I should give some of the things I watch or do some extra thought.

Day 19: Pascal's Prayer

Still catching up...

Today's devotion had one of the coolest prayers I've ever read. Attributed to Blaise Pascal, it says, “Lord, help me to do great things as though they were little, since I do them with Your power; and little things as though they were great, since I do them in Your name.” I think that this is a prayer for me. I tend to get puffed up when I'm doing things that are important, forgetting entirely that it is only because of God that I am able to do them at all. Also, when it comes to the small things, I try to avoid them or pass them off to others, because they simply aren't important enough for me to bother with. This is a horrible attitude to harbor, and an area in which I need work.

Saturday's Scripture is usually long, and this week's was no exception: the entire book of Phillippians. Phillippians 2:3-4 hit home the most: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." I definitely struggle with this inwardly. I am aware that God has blessed me with a strong mind, and often, I may think myself above others without even realizing it. The pride that stems from this is appalling to God, and it is something I must work on.

I will definitely get caught up later today.

Day 18: The Foot-Washing God

Yes, I know...I missed a day. I'm going through a slightly hard time right now, and prayer would be appreciated. But I'm not going down without a fight, so I'm writing about yesterday's devotional first, and then I'll post again later with today's.

Yesterday talked about the passage where Jesus washes His disciples' feet. The more I think about it, the more awestruck I am. We're talking about God here doing the most demeaning of tasks. It was necessary, however, if Jesus was to make a point. If He can do the lowliest of tasks, then we have absolutely no excuse. We are to be servants to others, with no regard for ourselves.

Ecclesiastes is hard to read, since Solomon is the writer and he's the second-wisest guy ever to walk the earth (the first being Jesus, naturally). Things tend to float over my head when I read this book. The end of chapter 11 really grabbed me, though. Solomon advises the young to start living for God now: "Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment." So there it is. The whole "Jesus died for me, so I can do whatever I want and be forgiven later" argument doesn't work. Sometimes I forget this, which is sad, because it's important. We may be forgiven, but we are not free from judgment.

Solomon sums up everything in one sentence at the end: "Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man." Yay for simplicity! If we do that, we should be fine. And Jesus makes that even easier: if we live for Him and fear Him, then the following of the commandments will naturally follow.

Day 17: Phenomenal!

Today's devotion talked about God's magnificent creation. Stopping to think about it, I have to agree with the author: God certainly made an amazing place for us to dwell. Still, we must be careful to magnify the Creator rather than the creation. This does not mean that we cannot enjoy God's glory through his handiwork, but only that we must constantly check ourselves to make sure no marvelous thing becomes elevated higher than Him in our lives. I suppose for me, that would mean that as wonderful as the Internet and the Xbox 360 are, I'm not in a good place if I have more time for them than God. ;-)

Ecclesiastes continues through chapters 7-9, and Solomon seems to be shifting his focus away from denouncing everything as meaningless to giving advice for living. In chapter 7, verses 16-18 grabbed me in particular: "Do not be overrighteous, neither be overwise—why destroy yourself? Do not be overwicked, and do not be a fool—why die before your time? It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. The man who fears God will avoid all extremes." I like this verse, because it affirms the way I try to live. It is a bit confusing, however. I think what it means is that no one should make righteousness or wickedness their goal, but they should be living for God. Then the righteousness will follow in its proper amount.

The other thing that grabbed me was this paragraph at the end of chapter 9: "I also saw under the sun this example of wisdom that greatly impressed me: There was once a small city with only a few people in it. And a powerful king came against it, surrounded it and built huge siegeworks against it. Now there lived in that city a man poor but wise, and he saved the city by his wisdom. But nobody remembered that poor man. So I said, 'Wisdom is better than strength.' But the poor man's wisdom is despised, and his words are no longer heeded." I want to know who the poor man was and what he said or did! He sounds awesome! I guess it's a good lesson, though: even when we do or say what is right, we may be despised for something that we ought to be praised for. But God sees it, and we will receive recognition for it one day, if we do it for the right reasons.

Day 16: Whose Side Is God On?

My friend Lisa frequently tells me how concerned she is when it comes to walking with God and doing His will. I tell her that as long as she seeks after God and does her best to listen to His voice and obey it, then she doesn't have to worry. God will take care of the rest. I was very pleased to see the Bible say the exact same thing in today's devotional. “The Lord is with you while you are with Him. If you seek Him, He will be found by you; but if you forsake Him, He will forsake you,” says 2 Chronicles 15:2.

This is not necessarily an easy thing. We can want something so badly that we confuse our will with God's will. I am by no means perfect in this area, but whenever I sense that this is a possibility, I check my will against the Bible and against God through prayer. If it lines up with what they say, then I proceed. The Bible says that God is unchanging, which means His side stays the same. The only time God leaves our side is when we leave His. We are to blame if God is not backing us up. But if we seek to make His will our own, then He will always be with us.

Ecclesiastes 4-6 was more of the same from yesterday. However, Solomon's tone has become slightly more upbeat. He talks about how working for wealth alone is meaningless, for without someone to share it, it is no good; he then points out that friendship is a very good thing, as all those involved in a friendship are made stronger by it.

Ecclesiastes 5 warns us to always have respect and reverence for God, then goes on to talk about the worthlessness of riches. While working for our wages is a good thing and a gift from God, the actual possession of wealth has no value. "Naked a man comes from his mother's womb, and as he comes, so he departs. He takes nothing from his labor that he can carry in his hand." (Eccl. 5:15) So it says that the good we get from work is not the income, but something more. I think this is evidenced by lottery winners: I've heard that those who win are soon broke afterward and more miserable than before. So the Bible says that work is good for us. That sounds a bit counterintuitive, but if it says it, then I've got to believe it. And it's been true for me in the past.

Day 15: One Small Choice

Today's devotion and Scripture hit home pretty hard, as they both speak to my thorn, which has been digging into my side again lately. The devotion talked about the small choices that we make and how serious the consequences can be. Things that we think trivial at the time can turn out to be devastating later. I know that my sinful habit is wrong, but I just brush it aside, telling myself that it is no big deal. But it is sin, so God sees it as a big deal. Plus, who am I to say that it is inconsequential? Only God knows the future results of our actions. So, I need to work on this. Thankfully, the principle works in reverse: good deeds that seem insignificant can make a world of a difference to others or even ourselves down the road.

Today I began Ecclesiastes, reading the first three chapters. Solomon starts with his great proclamation: "Meaningless! Meaningless! Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless." He is right, of course. All things of this world amount to nothing.

Solomon continues by going into greater depth. He talked about how he devoted himself to studying and gaining knowledge, but found that the more one knows, the more grief he has. He then turned to worldly pleasures, securing for himself everything he could. Since he is Solomon, this means that he acquired EVERYTHING that his time period had. He had riches. He has servants. He had entertainment. He had palaces and vineyards. He even had a harem. But he soon came to realize that none of it amounted to anything. He then pondered over wisdom and folly, and concluded that wisdom is indeed better than folly, but also noted that the wise man and the fool share the same fate. So they too are meaningless. He considered work, but found it to be the same way.

Ecclesiastes 3 goes on to say that there is a time for everything and goes into detail on this subject. At the end, he speaks what I believe is the wisest sentence I have ever heard: "So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot." I think it's best to just leave that alone without expounding on it.

Prayer List

I added a prayer list, because I am bad at remembering to pray for people.

If you want prayer for something, let me know and I'll add you. You don't have to tell me what you need prayer for.

Day 14: Another Chance

Today I heard about someone in the Bible that I had not previously known about. In the book of Philemon, which is a letter from Paul to Philemon, Paul mentions that he is sending back a servant of Philemon's named Onesimus, who ran away from Philemon. However, he changed his ways once he encountered Jesus, and after spending some time with Paul, he went back to his master. In his letter, Paul pleaded on Onesimus' behalf, saying that he was once unprofitable to Philemon, but is now profitable to both Paul and Philemon.

The parallel here is unavoidable. Like Onesimus, we have all invariably turned away from God at one time or another in our lives, but God is always willing to take us back and use us for His glory. Then we can be of profit to God! What could be better than that?

Today's Scripture passage was Job 40-42. This is the end of the book, where God speaks directly to Job after his friends have given their "advice." I have a bit of trouble understanding precisely what is going on here, but it appears that God is pointing out to Job that he has no right to accuse God of causing him suffering. God proves the feebleness of man by speaking of two mighty creatures, the behemoth and the leviathan, which men cannot hope to overtake in battle, but which God could easily overcome. Job apologizes, saying, "Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know." God then speaks to Eliphaz, one of the three friends of Job, saying that the counsel of all three of them was not correct and that they must present burnt offerings to God, in addition to Job's prayer on their behalf. They do so, and God accepts it. In the end, Job becomes more blessed than he was before.

My favorite part in this passage has to be Job 42:1-6. Job acknowledges that he cannot comprehend God's ways. Even though all that Job can see is suffering and despair, he admits that God is all-knowing, and there are plans at work here that Job cannot see. Now, thousands of years later, we see the fruit of Job's suffering. His story has provided a testimony for us to lean upon when times are difficult in our own lives!

We all go through trials in our lives, but we must never give up hope in God, and we must never stop praising Him, difficult as it is. God never takes pleasure in watching us suffer, but pain is often necessary for a greater good to come forth. I certainly take comfort in knowing that God is in control, and that as long as I walk with Him, He will lead me down the best path for my life.

Day 13: In God's House

Today's devotion dealt with worshipping the Lord. When it comes to church, we should never see it as some obligation standing in the way of us and the rest of our Sunday. I have certainly felt like that on numerous occasions. We should be eager to spend time in worship of God, thanking Him for all He's done and will do and simply praising Him for who He is. Thankfully, I have felt this eagerness many times as well. How we feel about going to church is a good spiritual barometer. But I believe that God really values our worship when we have absolutely no desire to praise Him, but do it anyway. That's true sacrifice, and it's what God truly desires.

The Scripture for today was Psalms 96-98. When I first read through them, I felt like they all said the same thing: to worship the Lord. After a second read, though, I saw that they cited different reasons and had different tones for worshipping Him. Psalm 96 is commanding in its call to everyone to worship the Lord, referring to his "marvelous deeds among all peoples" as reasons to why He is worthy, among other things. I counted 13 imperative sentences in a 13-verse psalm, which is impressive. To me, it conveys a sense of duty to worship the Lord.

Psalm 97 does not call people to worship like its predecessor, but rather paints a picture of God's incomparable power. It portrays a God who is able to protect His people and completely annihilate anyone who dares oppose Him. It is not until the last verse that an explicit call to worship is made: "Rejoice in the Lord, you who are righteous, and praise His holy name."

Psalm 98 is more like Psalm 96 in that it calls people to worship throughout the psalm, but it has a much more joyous tone to it. It conveys the sense of pleasure that one receives from praising Him: "Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth; burst into song with jubilant music; make music to the Lord with the harp, with the harp and the sound of singing, with trumpets and the blast of the ram's horn--shout for joy before the Lord, the King." And the psalm is true; worshipping the Lord can be a joyous experience if we allow it to be one.

"Now we turn it up a notch..."

So far I've only been analyzing the devotion. That's not really that great, since the devotion is basically someone else who analyzed the Bible. So I'm analyzing an analysis. Feel the excitement.

So starting tomorrow, I will spend some time writing about the Scripture reading that comes with Daily Bread along with the devotion itself. That should prove to be more spiritually fruitful.

Day 12: Chip Off The Ol' Block

The Bible calls us to be imitators of God. That's a pretty high order. If I am imitating God in my life right now, then we are all in deep trouble. Of course, no one is perfect; we are all sinners, and thus we are destined to fail in striving to emulate Christ. Still, that fact does not give us an excuse to stop trying.

By reading God's Word, we can discover the ways that Jesus acted and wants us to act. If we then apply those ways to our own lives by walking in them, then we are in God's will. However, Jesus didn't make it easy for us. His life was lived completely selflessly. He cared for those that no one else even wanted to be near. He hung out with the unpopular. Even his closest team of disciples was made up largely of fishermen. To live as Christ lived, we need to go against everything that our usual inclinations tell us to do. That's difficult.

It is worth it, though. While I can't say that I live for Christ 100% of the time, it has definitely been for the better when I have lived for Him. God sends you a sense of peace and joy when you walk with Him. I suppose it's because you're doing what you're supposed to do, and that satisfies a sense of duty and responsibility that the Holy Spirit gives us. I will strive to be like God is, but not through my own efforts. Rather, I will try to be like Him out of my love for Him. When you do something because you love someone, you do it because you want to rather than because you have to. I think that is the key to walking the Christian walk. It certainly lines up with Jesus' two greatest commandments.

Day 11: Gathering Sticks

Not much time to blog today, so I'll have to make this one quick.

In times of despair, we shouldn't get all sullen and gloomy, thinking that God hates us or that the world is against us. In those times, it is definitely easy for me to focus entirely on myself and my needs. Instead, we should look to the example of Paul, who right after being shipwrecked and being bitten by a venomous snake, went out and gathered sticks for a fire. That's being a servant: doing what needs to be done even when your own circumstances are less than optimal.

Day 10: Feed My Sheep

Today's devotion was about something that I often forget. When Jesus talked to Peter after his resurrection and asked him thrice if Peter loved Him, Peter replied that he did. Jesus then responded, "Feed my sheep." The devotion pointed out that Jesus did not ask Peter if Peter loved Jesus' sheep, but only if Peter loved Jesus. The distinction here is monumental.

Jesus said that the two greatest commandments are to love God with everything in us and to love our neighbor as ourselves. If we love God, then as Jesus pointed out to Peter, we will feed His sheep, which I suppose could be interpreted as either the church or every soul on earth. Loving His sheep is not enough. After all, His sheep are human (ha ha...funny). Often they will be unresponsive, harsh, or judgmental. I know I've been all three of those things to people close to me numerous times. However, if we love God--if Jesus is the reason that we love and care for others and not so we can receive recognition and gratitude from those around us--then we won't care how His sheep respond. We are doing it for Christ, and as long as we are doing it, we are pleasing Him.

This reminds me of one of my great weaknesses: placing value on what others think of me. I have this desire to be the universal diplomat, the guy that everyone likes regardless of their relations with others. While this is certainly not a despisable goal, it can become one if we allow it to compromise our beliefs in an effort to please everyone, and in my life, it has come to that in the past. Sadly, the Bible states that if everyone likes you, then you're doing something wrong. Jesus said that we will be despised because He was despised. I guess the best thing to do is acknowledge that you can't make everyone happy and just live to make God happy. I will press on toward that goal, and I'm willing to bet that as a side effect, you'll make a lot of people happy anyway.

Day 9: The Same Hand

By God's power, Moses brought the Israelites out of captivity, and at first, they were quite joyful to be free from Egyptian rule. However, not too long after, hunger and thirst set in (they were in the desert, after all). When they finally reached the oasis of Marah, the water there was bitter. That had to be discouraging. The Israelites cried out to God, and God performed a miracle and turned the water sweet.

Often, when we first come out of captivity from sin, whether we be newly born-again Christians or people who have just broken a stronghold in their lives, things get worse before they get better. We find that abstaining from that sin is very difficult, and if we become desperate enough, we try to rationalize the sin away and dive back into our old habits. Reliance on God is key. He proved faithful in helping us get away, and He is still faithful in maintaining our distance, if we are willing to let Him help. I suppose the point is that God helps us with everything, both the big and the small. We just have to stay in touch with Him and ask Him for his help.

Day 8: "This Is It!"

Today's devotion talked about the Rapture and waiting for Jesus' second coming. Whenever I think about the Rapture, I think about the times in the past when people thought they had predicted or figured out the day that Jesus would return. These attempts always made me laugh; in all their studying of the Bible to figure out the date, did they miss the verse that plainly says no one knows the day or the hour except the Father? Personally, I'm glad we don't know. Think how stressful life would be if we knew Jesus was returning in a few weeks!

The Bible says we should rejoice in the thought of Jesus' return, and I do, but I worry that I haven't done enough for the Kingdom of God yet. I barely witness to others, and most of my time in the Christian walk is consumed by myself and dealing with my own sins. I shouldn't be so concerned with the state of my own spirit that I neglect to care about others. This is an area I should definitely work on. Thankfully, as long as I remain in His will, everything will work out fine. I just need to do my part.

One Week In

Well, seven days have passed, and I feel that this blog is definitely aiding me in my spiritual walk with God. So I'll continue. Let's see if I can get a full month under my belt without missing a day! :-)

Day 7: True Teamwork

Today's devotion was a little difficult for me. It wasn't difficult in that I found its lesson to pertain directly to me and be very convicting. It was difficult in that I had to dig a little bit before I found a part that pertained to me. It talked about sports as a metaphor to our Christian walk, and how we often see non-believers as the opponent. This should never be the case. Satan and his forces are our only adversary; those who have yet not come to Christ should be thought of as "free agents." We should be striving to get them to join the team.

Paul likens the Christian walk to running a race. He says that we should always be running as to win the prize at the end. It makes me wonder how hard I'm running. Witnessing to others has always been a weakness of mine, as I know it is for many, many others. Still, if I truly love those who do not believe as Jesus did, then I should be more concerned about their eternal souls than my own temporary discomfort. This doesn't mean that I should go run out in the streets and start proclaiming that the end is at hand and people need to get saved. However, I should be actively looking for opportunities to share the gospel with others. It may be difficult, but then again, who ever said that running a race was easy?

Day 6: The Eye of God

It's funny how jaded I can become to God's omniscience. As a Christian, I am aware that God sees everything and that one day I will be held accountable for everything I've done, yet I often feel comfortable enough to blatantly sin when I am certain that no earthly eyes are watching. The only eyes I don't care about are the only eyes that really matter.

This devotion was a big help to me. I need to be reminded once in awhile that the Lord will judge all my thoughts and actions, and that He is an eyewitness to all of them. At times, I suppose I've resented the fact that God sees everything, but I am definitely glad that He does. He is the best accountability partner, or at least He can be if I let Him. Also, He sees the good that I do as well, and if it is done for Him, it will be recognized on Judgment Day as well. That is the most exciting fact of all.

Day 5: Open the Shutters

Today's devotional was based on a simple, yet profound principle in the Christian walk: if God is to make us truly happy, He must first remove whatever we are currently relying on for happiness. Living in America, this can be a difficult rule to abide under. We have been given so much to be thankful for in this country. In the category of technology alone (the area in which most of my luxuries fall), I have two current-generation video game systems, a cell phone, a laptop, an iPod, a 26" TV, and a car, not to mention the dozens of accesories that come with each. Yet from an eternal viewpoint, none of these possessions are worth anything. They are not necessarily evil; God wants us to enjoy the pleasures on earth that He has given us. However, they are not spiritually edifying, and they can become sin if we allow them to become more important than Him. I am certainly guilty of this.

According to the devotion, Samuel Rutherford, a 17th-century theologian, likened this change in reliance to a man who idolized a set of lamps in a darkened room, had them all snuffed out, and then had the shutters opened in the room to let in the sun's light. He had to go through a period of darkness first, but any discomfort he felt was immediately dispelled when the light of the heavens burst through. I suppose I am going through a slightly similar process with this blog. I am giving up time which I might spend playing video games or surfing the Web, but I've already come to enjoy it. I realize that my relationship with the Lord still does and always will have a long way to go, but if I can just give up a little more to Him every day, I know that I will be happier in the end.

Day 4: The Greatest Race

Today's devotion is about love, and being 19, that subject is more than interesting enough for me. It didn't talk much about romance, though; it referred to the love found in 1 Corinthians 13, the kind of love God desires us to show.

I am blessed in that I don't have much trouble loving others. I have the tendency to see the good and admirable in people, which makes it easy to appreciate and care about others (but also makes me gullible at times). My greatest struggle is in loving the Lord. Don't mistake my meaning: I truly appreciate what God has done for me, but given my lifestyle, I don't think I truly love Him. Love requires action, and I know that I have a weakness in this area when it comes to God. Fortunately, I have returned to reading the Bible every day, but prayer has not become a habit, which saddens me. I cannot have a true relationship with God if I don't talk to Him or allow Him to talk to me, and without that relationship, I easily succumb to sin. I have hundreds of examples at the ready to back up that claim.

I'm beginning to understand how I can show true love to God, and it's really just a return to basics. If I really love the Lord, then I will seek out a relationship with Him and walk in His ways, even if my own are more pleasurable from a secular stance. And with that in mind, I'm going to pray for a bit, and then get cracking on some laundry and an essay. ;-)

Day 3: God's Training School

Hardships are a part of the Christian walk. If we are not encountering them, then we are not walking with the Lord. I haven't been encountering many trials lately, so I can't help but wonder how close I am to God. I suppose I already know the answer to that. Still, my thorn has been a perpetual hardship, and I have not yet grown entirely complacent to its presence. Ironically, my thorn is an encouragement in this way.

Thankfully, difficult trials are not the end of the story. If we are successful in getting through them, they will prepare us for more intense tasks later in life, and they will build character that we may serve God in ways we could not before. Today's and yesterday's devotion are complementary, as tribulations are often the best preparations for being a leader. While I do not enjoy persevering through a difficult time, I am more than willing to do so if it will bring me closer to God.

Or am I? There are times when unpleasant tasks are set before me, and I either procrastinate or I simply don't do them at all. These don't seem like spiritual trials, but God's work often includes seemingly secular tasks that aren't necessarily easy. Perhaps God has set quite a few trials before me, and He has left me the option of avoiding them. I know His will is for me to do them, as they will strengthen me in my walk, but I haven't been doing so. I guess it's time to put on the big-boy underpants and get started.

Day 2: The Apprentice

My pastor is fond of the saying, "With higher levels come higher devils." That seems to be the lesson today's devotional is trying to teach. Many times I've felt that I was ready for advancement or more responsibility when in reality I needed more training. I can think of a few times in the Vassar Christian Fellowship where I tried to accept more than I could fit into my schedule, and while the results were far from catastrophic, it was discouraging to know that I had not lived up to my role. I believe that God would rather us place our full effort behind one task than divide it amongst several.

After serving on the executive board as treasurer for VXF (Vassar Christian Fellowship) for two years now, I can definitely say that it is important for someone to be thoroughly trained and prepared for leadership before they assume the role. Personally, I don't believe that I was ready for the job when I first accepted it. I didn't take it seriously enough, and even now, I'm reaping the repercussions from that. The attitude that a leader should have is that of a servant. That is the attitude Jesus had, and I believe we should all be apprentices of Him, since He should be leading us every day.

I think that many times, people forget what a leader is. They focus on how good it must feel to have everyone looking to them for guidance and forget about the actual guiding part. I know that I have been guilty of such thinking on more than a few occasions. Thankfully, God usually gives us more than one chance at being a leader. My prayer is that He never gives me the opportunity prematurely.

Day 1: Spiritual Therapy

Often in my life, I feel as if God is making me suffer for no good reason. The two recurring instances that pop into my mind almost immediately are relationships and my thorn. "My thorn" is a habitual sin that I'd prefer not to elaborate on, but saying that it is one of my greatest struggles in walking with the Lord should be enough.

Concerning relationships, I often find myself wishing that God would part the clouds and, in a majestic voice, deliver the full name of my future spouse to me. I know that the Lord is fully capable of doing so, but I also know that if He were to do so, I would probably jump the gun and royally mess things up. That being said, I can understand why God is keeping this mystery from me, but the struggle with relational decisions and conflicting feelings of endearment is not made much easier.

With respect to the thorn, I greatly desire that God would simply give me the strength to overcome my sin. The suffering I have brought upon myself is at times unbearable, and I often think of how much farther along I would be in my walk with God had I not given in at the start. Still, I can understand why it is there: it reminds me that I am dependent on God. After all, how can God manifest His strength in my life if I am unaware of my weaknesses? It gives me a reason to seek Him out and draw closer to Him, since I know that I cannot conquer it on my own. Looking back to see what might have been is pointless. However, I can make a decision now to battle this bane, and when I then look back at this point in time from the future, I will see the improvement.

To quote Harvey Dent from The Dark Knight, "The night is darkest just before the dawn." I believe that God can and does bring us down to points of despair and suffering, knowing that we must visit them if we are to rise to higher ground in our walk with Him. In fact, I can think of examples in my own life where this belief is true. I'm sure God does not want to see us in pain, but I know that the pain is always for our own good, whether we realize it or not.

And by the way, any prayer for me and conquering my thorn is greatly appreciated.

Statement of Purpose

This blog is here to help me dive deeper into the Scriptures. It is not here to entertain the masses, although I hope that others can extract some encouragement from these posts. Every morning, I read the daily devotional from "Our Daily Bread" (which can be found here), but I don't really feel like I apply it to my life at all. I long to have a stronger relationship with God, but shoving the Lord off to the side is pretty easy when your life is good. I feel like the Israelites throughout most of the Old Testament: things are awesome, they turn away from God, God lets bad stuff happen, they turn back to God, things become awesome again, lather, rinse, repeat. I can't say that I'm stuck in this cycle, but I am stuck between the parts where I've turned away from God and bad stuff happens. I'm not saying I've renounced Christianity; I believe that God has saved me through Christ's blood. What I'm saying is that I am missing that all-important relationship with God that separates Christianity from so many other religions. As we all know, relationships take work, and that is why this blog is here.

I am going to post here every day for one week, starting today. I'm sure that I'll end up posting for longer than that, but I seem to do better with short-term goals. I'm going to consider what the devotion says and try to see how it applies to my own life, and I'll probably pray a bit in it as well. I've found that praying through typing works well for me, because it keeps me focused. The point is that I've gone too long without putting some serious work into developing a relationship with God, and it is time to change that.

Any and all encouragement/constructive criticism is welcome.