This past weekend, I had the pleasure of attending the wedding of two dear friends from Vassar. They've been an item for as long as I've known them, so it was nice to see the beginning of their official union. It was REALLY nice to see all my brothers and sisters from VXF again as well. I'd forgotten how much I missed them all.
Seeing all of them again made me think about how I'd fallen out of touch, which made me re-evaluate how I was living my life these days. I'm still in grad school (third year now), but I tend to get so focused on that goal that I forget to make any others. Nothing serious, just little things like posting in this blog regularly, or working on my golf game, or learning how to cook delicious stuff. I want to fix that.
As always, the whole matter turns on my relationship with God. I can't seem to get out of this mindset where I only serve Him when it's convenient or when I feel like it. It's this sickening roller coaster of one or two good days where I'm on point and focused on Him, followed by two or three days of doing whatever I feel like because "I'm doing well and I should relax a little bit." For a guy whose blog name is Velocity, mine is terribly inconsistent.
I guess there's nothing to do but spend some time in prayer and the Bible. Adjust priorities. Realize there's a whole life out there the Lord wants for me and will give to me if I could just give up the garbage I'm clutching onto so fervently.
I've lost count of how many times I've tried to change, and I can't say with any real confidence that this time will be any different. But it will be a try. And maybe it will succeed, if I can learn how to allow God to make the change within me rather than forcing the change myself.
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