Pi

I need help.

God's help, to be more precise. Lately, He's been showing me how poor of a place I'm in. Ever since I've come to Yale and been more or less removed from the Christian family I was blessed with at Vassar, it's been so easy to ignore God. I still believe in Him and want to serve Him, but I don't.

I have consistently listened to myself and done what "felt right" at any given moment, and it has led to this horrible spiritual state. Reading my Bible (for the first time in a few days) today, 1 John 2:4 hit me especially hard: "He who say, 'I know Him,' and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in Him." I understand that God does not expect perfection from us, but I believe that John's point here is that we do not have any part with God if we pick and choose which of His commands we will obey and which ones we will ignore. And I have definitely been ignoring lately, which makes me a liar. That's scary.

Haha, Kay probably doesn't realize how much her comment on my eight-month-old post yesterday meant to me. I know she meant to tease me about how long it had been since I'd posted here, but right now it feels more like a wake-up call to a relationship with God that I profess to have. I know that if I will just reach out to God and strive to obey Him, He'll give me the power to do so. It's time to do my part.