Saturday, December 19, 2009

New Orders

I can't believe it's been two weeks since I last wrote. Finals week has a lot to do with that, and though I had been putting off my Bible reading at first (which had less-than-optimal consequences), I got back into it when finals started. It's kinda funny; you'd think that taking time away from studying to read the Bible would hurt your exam scores, but I think it helped. I could feel God helping me remember how to answer questions, and I believe He was more willing to help because I had my priorities straight.

Anyway, now I'm home for Christmas, and I feel a bit weird. I've worked so hard for awhile, and everything is swiftly changing gears now. My true challenge is continuting to be productive and heeding God's will for each day. Now instead of concentrating on my studies, there are a million other smaller things which I know God would want me to do with my free time.

That's one of the harder things for me to do, I think: will I listen to God's direction and do what He asks without hesitation or questioning, or will I weigh His will against my own and decide which one "feels" like it will be more satisfying? Obviously the former will be the most rewarding in the end, but it's surprising how many times I choose the latter.

By the way, I started reading this book called "Fearless" by Max Lucado for a Sunday School class I'm in. I highly recommend it. It is awesome.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

'Tis the Season

Today's devotional mentioned that in some parts of the world, people give and receive gifts on December 6th rather than the 25th so that they can spend the rest of the month focusing on God and His gift. I'd never heard of this, but it seems like a great idea.

A week ago, my sister Julia mentioned that she never heard any Christmas carols on the radio anymore this time of year--it was all "Jingle Bell Rock" and "Santa Baby" and "All I Want for Christmas is You," and that made her sad. Our culture's done a fantastic job of squeezing God and Jesus out of Christmas, and it's pretty sickening.

I shouldn't be shaking my head so vigorously, though. I'm guilty of forgetting the reason for the season many times. I get so caught up in buying presents and seeing family that I forget about what Jesus did so long ago. Hah, and then I wonder why I don't feel like I'm in the Christmas spirit. Maybe it's because I'm neglecting the true Christmas spirit.

This Christmas, I'm going to make more of an effort to focus on God. He's pretty good about helping people do things He wants them to do, so I'm sure God will keep me on the right track.

Oh, by the way, if you ever want to read Our Daily Bread, the devotional I often reference, the link is in the sidebar.

Friday, December 4, 2009

One Day's Difference

It's curious how quickly things can turn around in a person's life. Don't get me wrong--I'd be a fool to claim that the fight is over. But today seems a little brighter, and I find I have more resolve to do that which God wants me to do.

Yesterday was a little rough. I essentially finished class around 12 and proceeded to do NOTHING productive for the rest of the day. I regret that. But today is a new day, and I will do what I can to heed God's instructions better.

Sometimes I wonder if I focus on hearing God's voice too much, but I have this belief (founded in the Bible) that if we keep our eyes on Him, the rest follows. Not praying enough? Focus on God. Struggling with habitual sin? Focus on God. Wondering how you can share the gospel with your coworker/fellow student? Focus on God.

In Sunday school, the big joke used to be that every question could be answered with "Pray and read your Bible." It's striking how true that is. Prayer is direct contact with God, and the Bible is concrete, infallible advice from Him. If ever someone wanted to hear God's direction, that would be the way to do it.

1 John has been hitting me hard lately. For those of us who are struggling with habitual sin, that book is a great way to be confronted with its severity--and its consequences. John has a very logical sound to his writing: "He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil. Whoever has been born of God does not sin, for His seed reamins in him; and he cannot sin, because he has been born of God." (1 John 3:8-9)

Not only does he state that if you sin, you are of the devil, but he emphasizes it with the contrapositive in the next verse: if you are of God, you do not sin. And again, neither John nor God expects perfection, but if we are willing to continually return to sin, thinking that God will forgive us and we are still Christians, we are contradicting ourselves. Christianity is a walk, not a stance.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Pi

I need help.

God's help, to be more precise. Lately, He's been showing me how poor of a place I'm in. Ever since I've come to Yale and been more or less removed from the Christian family I was blessed with at Vassar, it's been so easy to ignore God. I still believe in Him and want to serve Him, but I don't.

I have consistently listened to myself and done what "felt right" at any given moment, and it has led to this horrible spiritual state. Reading my Bible (for the first time in a few days) today, 1 John 2:4 hit me especially hard: "He who say, 'I know Him,' and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in Him." I understand that God does not expect perfection from us, but I believe that John's point here is that we do not have any part with God if we pick and choose which of His commands we will obey and which ones we will ignore. And I have definitely been ignoring lately, which makes me a liar. That's scary.

Haha, Kay probably doesn't realize how much her comment on my eight-month-old post yesterday meant to me. I know she meant to tease me about how long it had been since I'd posted here, but right now it feels more like a wake-up call to a relationship with God that I profess to have. I know that if I will just reach out to God and strive to obey Him, He'll give me the power to do so. It's time to do my part.