This weekend, starting last night, my church (Elm City Vineyard, or ECV) is holding a conference called "Life with a Living God," and it's been pretty incredible. So far, we've been taught on setting proper expectations for living with Jesus, and they were challenging: expect to be dependent, expect both reception and rejection, and expect obedience, to name a few.
The crazy part was when we had prayer. We all bowed our heads, and the prayer leader prayed for the Holy Spirit to enter. After that, he asked if there was anyone who was feeling tingling or warmth in their ears, hands, or chest, and if they were, he wanted them to stand up.
Before I go any further, I realize that a lot of people have trouble with these kinds of things, chalking it all up to the power of suggestion and so forth, and honestly, I agree with those people to a certain degree. But at the same time, I know that God DOES move and speak to us in this way at times, and I don't want to close myself off to this avenue of guidance. So my approach is three-step: 1) see if what the person is asking is true (ignoring the possibility of the power of suggestion). If it is, 2) say a brief prayer and ask the Holy Spirit if it's Him. If I feel He says yes (again ignoring if it's just my own head playing tricks), 3) go for it. Even if it wasn't originally from God and I totally misread Him, I trust He'll bless my attempting to do His will and turn my mistake into something He can use.
Anyway, this is what I did. I did feel a little bit of warmth in my hands, so I prayed and asked, and I felt the impression that it was not Him, but that I should check out my feet. And I was like, "My feet? Well, ok, they feel a little warm, but he didn't mention anything about--" "If you're feeling a warmth in your feet, I also want you to stand." And I froze. And I was like, "Lord, seriously? 'Cause I don't really think I want to stand..." And I really felt like I was supposed to stand.
So after a moment of hesitation, I resignedly muttered under my breath, "...aw, crap..." and stood to my feet. (Fun fact: the pastor's wife was sitting in front of me, heard me, and started laughing.) The leader went on to explain that the warmth in the feet signifies that the Lord had a calling for those people to do missions, whether that be abroad or in our backyard. As soon as he said that, I knew God had spoken, because I do not like to do missions. I am shy and introverted by nature (until I get comfortable around you, and then I won't shut up!), and I am very uncomfortable sharing the gospel with others and serving them. So knowing that this was the last thing I wanted to do confirmed that God was trying to stretch my faith.
A bunch of people gathered around me and prayed for me (which was awesome), and I felt that I needed to start volunteering at Agape Church, a subsidiary church of ECV for the homeless. Again, something I really don't want to do because I'm uncomfortable, but know that I'm being called to do it. So that starts tomorrow.
I go back to the conference at 1:00 this afternoon, and I'm looking forward to more challenges from God. I'm gonna do something a little different and ask you, if you're reading this, to share ways in which you feel God is challenging you to step out in faith. If so, are you taking steps to accept those challenges? Because if you are, you are most certainly not alone. :-)
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