Haven't posted here in awhile. The whole "habit" thing obviously didn't work out, but thankfully, my walk with God has been improving as of late. I just need to spend more time in prayer and the Bible.
Today's devotion was titled "Hearts and Banjos," and to sum up, it talked about how we need to ask God to repair and restore our hearts. Over time, things of the earth have a way of working themselves into our souls. Things such as obsession over relationships, entertaining but crude videos and comics, and an overabundance of video games have been (and to some extent, still are) problems in my own life and are good examples. These things aren't necessarily sinful, but they do get in the way of a life completely devoted to God. I find that prayer and constant realignment with God's will helps here.
It's so amazing to know that God is always there, straightening out the messes that we are. I picture us as badly tangled fishing line. It makes more sense to throw us out and start over, but God's love is so great for us that He sits there for a lifetime and makes us usable for His purposes. That's pretty awesome.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Ebenezer
Wow...today has been one of the craziest days of all time. I never thought I could work so hard.
Anyway, I'm taking a breather to write. Today talked about the word "Ebenezer," which immediately sparks images of Michael Caine as Scrooge in "A Muppet Christmas Carol" in my mind. However, in the Bible, the Israelites named a stone Ebenezer, which means "Stone of Help." It referred to the Lord, and it is very true. God has been helping me a heck of a lot lately, and I am so thankful for it. I certainly couldn't be doing everything I'm doing now without Him.
Alright, back to work. Yay!
Anyway, I'm taking a breather to write. Today talked about the word "Ebenezer," which immediately sparks images of Michael Caine as Scrooge in "A Muppet Christmas Carol" in my mind. However, in the Bible, the Israelites named a stone Ebenezer, which means "Stone of Help." It referred to the Lord, and it is very true. God has been helping me a heck of a lot lately, and I am so thankful for it. I certainly couldn't be doing everything I'm doing now without Him.
Alright, back to work. Yay!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Absolutely Nobody
Okay, so here's Day 1. Sadly, the rest of yesterday didn't go as planned, so today's the official first day. I pray that God be with me every step of the way.
Today's devotional was on how humility is a good thing, but we are not to consider ourselves unworthy as an excuse for not doing what God wants us to do. I think this is a problem I have. Too often, I don't do things that I feel God is prompting me to do because I don't feel spiritually strong in that area, when in reality, all the strength I need comes from God anyway.
In general, I need to rely on God more in every area of my life. It's something I've really been struggling with lately, since I want to do my own thing, despite the fact that I know His way is best. With His help, I will be able to do it, though.
Today's devotional was on how humility is a good thing, but we are not to consider ourselves unworthy as an excuse for not doing what God wants us to do. I think this is a problem I have. Too often, I don't do things that I feel God is prompting me to do because I don't feel spiritually strong in that area, when in reality, all the strength I need comes from God anyway.
In general, I need to rely on God more in every area of my life. It's something I've really been struggling with lately, since I want to do my own thing, despite the fact that I know His way is best. With His help, I will be able to do it, though.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Marred
Today's Daily Bread was very fitting to the way I feel right now. It talked about how sin damages us, and how Jesus' purpose for coming to earth was to remove those sins. I sure am glad for that, because I mess up A LOT.
Lately, I've been feeling really weak spiritually. It's as if I have no self-control or desire to do the things of the Lord. I suppose everyone feels like this occasionally, but I feel like this has been going on for a long time. I know it's because I don't spend enough time in prayer and reading the Bible, and yet I still refuse to establish habits for these things.
A friend once told me that a good thing must be done consistently for 21 days on average before it becomes a habit. So that's what I'm going to do. I will write here every day for the next 21 days, not only as a means of communicating with God and with others, but as a way to keep me accountable. Keep me in prayer!
Lately, I've been feeling really weak spiritually. It's as if I have no self-control or desire to do the things of the Lord. I suppose everyone feels like this occasionally, but I feel like this has been going on for a long time. I know it's because I don't spend enough time in prayer and reading the Bible, and yet I still refuse to establish habits for these things.
A friend once told me that a good thing must be done consistently for 21 days on average before it becomes a habit. So that's what I'm going to do. I will write here every day for the next 21 days, not only as a means of communicating with God and with others, but as a way to keep me accountable. Keep me in prayer!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Sin Crouches At The Door
As prompted by Kay, I am writing again here. God bless that girl's precious heart; she makes me feel as if this thing is worth writing in. :-)
Today's message was about Cain and Abel, and not giving in to anger and jealousy and such things. I think if I expanded this to encompass resisting impulses to do things that will feel good now and wreck stuff later, then I can relate. Thankfully, as of the past few days, I've been dealing with my thorn very well, but these things have a way of rearing their ugly heads when I least expect it. I guess that's why we're called to wear the full armor of God instead of just a shield, because armor stays on all the time during our battle of life and not just when we think we need it. Anyway, I pray that God keeps me alert and staunch in my decisions.
Today's message was about Cain and Abel, and not giving in to anger and jealousy and such things. I think if I expanded this to encompass resisting impulses to do things that will feel good now and wreck stuff later, then I can relate. Thankfully, as of the past few days, I've been dealing with my thorn very well, but these things have a way of rearing their ugly heads when I least expect it. I guess that's why we're called to wear the full armor of God instead of just a shield, because armor stays on all the time during our battle of life and not just when we think we need it. Anyway, I pray that God keeps me alert and staunch in my decisions.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
A Hill Too High
Today's message was something particularly pertinent to me: scaling mountains in our lives. As a 19-year-old senior at Vassar preparing for graduate school, I feel like I've got K2 starting me down. But the devotion makes an excellent point. When the Israelites were wandering through the wilderness, God provided them with manna for all those years--but only enough for one day at a time. I think it's reasonable to assume that God will do the same for me: providing me with enough grace and motivation to prepare for grad school one day at a time, and then continuing to aid me past that, as I go through grad school, seek out a job, and find the spouse that God wants me to have (and prepare me for her as well, so that I can be all that I should be). When I look ahead in the long term, I feel like I'll never be able to do all of that, but if I can stay in the moment and trust God, then it suddenly seems quite possible.
More Hebrews today in the Scripture reading. It talked a bit about the new covenant, which is the first time I've noticed it explicitly mentioned in the Bible. I've had a lot of questions about that lately, so I'm going to dig deeper.
More Hebrews today in the Scripture reading. It talked a bit about the new covenant, which is the first time I've noticed it explicitly mentioned in the Bible. I've had a lot of questions about that lately, so I'm going to dig deeper.
Friday, October 17, 2008
An Aside
I'm going to break the trend for a minute here, because something's been sitting on my heart for awhile, and writing about it will help.
Lately, I've come to realize that I am, truly, nothing without God. During the past few days or so, I have been living for myself and doing the things that I think will make me happy. These aren't drastic changes of living, but they are small decisions like sleeping in instead of going to morning prayer or playing WoW when I ought to be doing homework. At first, I have fun, but the initial "happiness buzz" wears off, and I end up feeling more empty than before. I try to stave that off with more sleep and video games and such, but the cycle just repeats itself. For those who have read "The Phantom Tollbooth" when they were younger, it reminds me of the subtraction stew that the protagonist comes across; the more of it you eat, the hungrier you become.
Not only that, but I've found that my entire attitude changes as well. Without God, I am a jerk. I'm self-centered, I put others down to feel better about myself, and I'm overly sarcastic. I apologize to those who have had to deal with me recently. I don't think that I have been really bad in this regard, but I haven't been the complete friend that God calls me to be.
God is the answer, plain and simple. It's so counterintuitive to give up your life to make it better, but it's true. Even as I write this, I already feel God's grace returning to me. Rest assured, there is still much, much work to be done in my life, but if I can just walk down the narrow path that the Lord has laid out, everything will be alright.
And now I'm off to take care of business. :-)
Lately, I've come to realize that I am, truly, nothing without God. During the past few days or so, I have been living for myself and doing the things that I think will make me happy. These aren't drastic changes of living, but they are small decisions like sleeping in instead of going to morning prayer or playing WoW when I ought to be doing homework. At first, I have fun, but the initial "happiness buzz" wears off, and I end up feeling more empty than before. I try to stave that off with more sleep and video games and such, but the cycle just repeats itself. For those who have read "The Phantom Tollbooth" when they were younger, it reminds me of the subtraction stew that the protagonist comes across; the more of it you eat, the hungrier you become.
Not only that, but I've found that my entire attitude changes as well. Without God, I am a jerk. I'm self-centered, I put others down to feel better about myself, and I'm overly sarcastic. I apologize to those who have had to deal with me recently. I don't think that I have been really bad in this regard, but I haven't been the complete friend that God calls me to be.
God is the answer, plain and simple. It's so counterintuitive to give up your life to make it better, but it's true. Even as I write this, I already feel God's grace returning to me. Rest assured, there is still much, much work to be done in my life, but if I can just walk down the narrow path that the Lord has laid out, everything will be alright.
And now I'm off to take care of business. :-)
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