Often in my life, I feel as if God is making me suffer for no good reason. The two recurring instances that pop into my mind almost immediately are relationships and my thorn. "My thorn" is a habitual sin that I'd prefer not to elaborate on, but saying that it is one of my greatest struggles in walking with the Lord should be enough.
Concerning relationships, I often find myself wishing that God would part the clouds and, in a majestic voice, deliver the full name of my future spouse to me. I know that the Lord is fully capable of doing so, but I also know that if He were to do so, I would probably jump the gun and royally mess things up. That being said, I can understand why God is keeping this mystery from me, but the struggle with relational decisions and conflicting feelings of endearment is not made much easier.
With respect to the thorn, I greatly desire that God would simply give me the strength to overcome my sin. The suffering I have brought upon myself is at times unbearable, and I often think of how much farther along I would be in my walk with God had I not given in at the start. Still, I can understand why it is there: it reminds me that I am dependent on God. After all, how can God manifest His strength in my life if I am unaware of my weaknesses? It gives me a reason to seek Him out and draw closer to Him, since I know that I cannot conquer it on my own. Looking back to see what might have been is pointless. However, I can make a decision now to battle this bane, and when I then look back at this point in time from the future, I will see the improvement.
To quote Harvey Dent from The Dark Knight, "The night is darkest just before the dawn." I believe that God can and does bring us down to points of despair and suffering, knowing that we must visit them if we are to rise to higher ground in our walk with Him. In fact, I can think of examples in my own life where this belief is true. I'm sure God does not want to see us in pain, but I know that the pain is always for our own good, whether we realize it or not.
And by the way, any prayer for me and conquering my thorn is greatly appreciated.
2 comments:
http://theempyrealwordsmith.blogspot.com/2008/08/new-surrender.html
hey..though I duno who u r, but I must say I'm encouraged and blessed by your blogs here! =)
I believe everyone has their own 'thorn' to battle with, and the way you think it's an oppurnity to draw us closer to God really is amazingly phrased.
Good job and do keep this up!
God bless..^^
Post a Comment